We love you Ryan!

So, Ryan Gosling was asked, by GQ in Australia, how he would spend his perfect day. His surprisingly lovely reply was “knitting.”

Here’s how he continued.

"I did this scene in Lars And The Real Girl where I was in a room full of old ladies who were knitting, and it was an all-day scene, so they showed me how. It was one of the most relaxing days of my life.

"If I had to design my perfect day, that would be it. And you get something out of it at the end. You get a nice present. For someone who wants an oddly shaped, off-putting scarf."

We will happily forgive him his suggestion of the old lady and oddly-shaped knitting stereotypes. Because, really, who saw this coming? And what might this do for our craft?

I wrote, in the November 19^th post, that one of the reasons knitters don’t get the respect they deserve is that men don’t do it. Something that is considered exclusively female just doesn’t get the credibility, mileage, or respect of something that is gender-shared. That’s just the way the world has worked for a very long time. (Never mind that the original knitters’ guilds were men only. That was a long time ago and now easily dismissed.)

Once the industrial revolution hit, and knitting (and the men who did it) went into the factories (where the money was made), hand-knitting became almost exclusively female: women at home did it because it was cheaper than buying the factory-made goods. That marginalized hand-knitting in a world that was increasingly motivated by profit.

Fast forward to modern times, where—with globalization—a hand-knit sweater is much more expensive than what we can buy in stores. And if money were the only currency, you’d think this would make knitting precious and special. But, no, people (well, really, women) who knit were people with enough disposable income and time that they could make what they could easily buy. In a world increasingly motivated by expediency, knitting made even less sense to people who didn’t do it!

It seems that we can’t win for losing!

But thank goodness for the movie stars. Someone watches Julia Roberts knitting, or hears her rave about it, and knitting is hot and sexy and the new best ever thing. (That’s what happened at the turn of the century.)

And now we have one of our hottest male stars saying the same thing! OMG, how fabulous! I cannot wait to see how this unfolds! Maybe knitting will become the best new trend among gorgeous young men! The possibilities surely make this old heart beat faster. 

PS If you have not seen Lars and the Real Girl, you now clearly must. (It really is a lovely movie. But even if it weren’t, it’s probably something we all must do in support of our new guy?)

What keeps us from moving forward?

My last post, plus the New Year, lead me to address the following (posed long ago on Ravelry): "I keep wanting to experience new things with my knitting. But then I go back to what I know how to do. I seem to be stuck somewhere within my comfort and can't seem to blast myself through that wall that's preventing me from moving forward."

I have a virtual arsenal of quotes, and stories, and opinions on this subject. And I'll begin that assault in a moment. But before I do, just let me say that while we can speak to this from our heads, we cannot think ourselves out of this place of safety. It is our feelings—usually fear—that need be conquered. So while you read what follows, listen to what resonates emotionally.  If you feel something, a button has been pushed . . . and that's where you need to go looking.

Okay. Let's start with a concept that I embrace.

There is no such thing as a mistake.

How in the world can I say that? Because you cannot be born knowing everything there is to know. (There are people who think they are, but we're grateful we're not married to them.) Your parents, your teachers, your knitting instructors could not anticipate and teach everything you need to know.

So . . . there are things you don't know and mistakes you are capable of making. And you will make them . . . until they bite you . . . and you think That isn't serving me very well. And so you do the work to learn what you need to learn to not make that mistake again.  And what can we conclude from this?

If we are capable of making a mistake, then we needed to make that mistake in order to learn what we needed to learn to not make that mistake again. And so the mistake is just an experience we needed to have so we could learn and grow.

Maya Angelou said it much better: You did the best you could until you knew better. And when you knew better you did better.

If all that seems too theoretical, let me give you a practical example, paraphrased from the book Art and Fear, by David Bayles and Ted Orland.

On the first day of class, the pottery teacher announced a new way the class would be graded. The half sitting to the right would be graded on quality (the usual way): one perfect pot would earn an A, etc. The half sitting to the left would be graded on quantity: 50 lbs of pots would earn an A, 40 lbs a B, etc.

When grading occurred, a curious fact emerged: the pots of best quality came from the quantity side of the class. That side had turned out lots of pots, exploring ideas to produce some really good work. The quality side, on the other hand, had produced no wonderful pots: they had sat theorizing about the perfect pot rather than putting in the hours of trial and error to actually get there.

Unless we dive into our materials and just give it a go, often what holds us back from moving beyond our comfort is fear—of frustration, of failure, of waste (time or money?), of humiliation.

How do we deal with our fears? By embracing the following truths.

• Frustration is painful but an inevitable step on the road to learning. As Winston Churchill said Creativity is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.
• There is no such thing as failure. As Henry Ford said Failure is the opportunity to begin again, more intelligently.
• I believe that there is no such thing as a waste of time. Our left brain, which is the clock-watcher, is also where established patterns reside. So when we try to establish a new pattern, this side of the brain feels out of control,  gets critical, and accuses us of wasting time. This is no reason to give up. And fortunately, knitting is a right brain activity in which time is irrelevant. (I truly believe that whatever we are doing in any given moment is exactly what we were meant to be doing in that moment. This helps me get through life.)
• There is no waste of money in knitting: we are much to be envied because we can rip out our materials and re-use them.
• And finally, humiliation is something we do to ourselves. (No-one can do it to us unless we let them.) And why would we do this to ourselves? We should treat ourselves as we would a grandchild.

So, what to do when we find ourselves stuck? *Try something new. Be prepared for frustration. Ignore the yammering left brain. Be persistent. Be prepared for mistakes. (Understand that these are lessons to learn before proceeding.) Learn (or teach yourself) every fix-it technique available to knitters. Employ them until you achieve success. Repeat from *.

And, sadly I suppose, be prepared to produce an occasionally truly ugly sweater. We could have a competition. But I promise you I'd win! I'd have to, if only because—over 56 years of knitting—I’ve produced a great volume. But I look at these sad pieces and comfort myself with a quote by Chekov: One would have to be God to look at both success and failure and know one from the other.

flow, persistence, and buyer’s remorse

Flow

The other day I watched a documentary on happiness which talked about the concept of flow as being an essential component. It mentioned knitting as a way to achieve flow, which made me think of re-visiting this subject.

The word’s been around for a long time to describe a state of being we might all wish to achieve. But the American psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi gave it a particular definition and set of parameters that should help us understand and achieve it.

He made a simple, two-axis scale in which skills oppose challenge. And his premise for a state of flow—which he called the flow channel—is that we achieve it when skills = challenge.

 But Csikszentmihalyi went further—describing the states we are in when outside the flow channel. And here’s where things get more interesting and—I think—instructive.

If challenge is too high for our skill level, we are anxious, frustrated, stuck. If skills are too high for the task, we are bored. And the kicker is that human beings are much less happy when they are bored!

So what does that mean for us?

Persistence

Let’s just establish that knitters are never bored and look to the other side of Csikszentmihalyi’s chart.

It’s not difficult to get frustrated with our knitting: wrong yarn, wrong pattern, wrong level of challenge, wrong garment for our body, wrong garment for our wardrobe. The mistake, however, would be to pitch the project. Much better to

• figure out what’s wrong with it,
• rip it out,
• do the work to fix it.

When we do this, we produce a result that’s worthy. And—in doing the work of figuring, ripping, re-figuring, and re-knitting—we raise our skill set. And so the next time we tackle a similar project, we are higher in the flow channel! This is a result much to be desired and remembered every time we pack away a not-wonderful knit result.

Buyer’s remorse

So we’ve all bought clothing we should not have. The sales person told us we looked “cute” (not a word I think should ever be attributed to my 63-yr-old self, so there was my first clue), or maybe it was “on sale” (but what kind of bargain is it if I never wear it?!?!), or maybe we were having a good hair day or out-of-body experience (so everything looked good). Whatever! Been there, done that! (Hang with me, this does relate to my previous discussion.)

I have had this experience many times with clothing . . but . . . never with yarn!!!!! I have never regretted a yarn purchase!!!

Yes, I’ve knit with yarn that didn’t work out. But even so, I have not regretted the purchase. I’ve just learned that it was the wrong project for the yarn. Good lesson! And what comes next? Rip and re-knit!

Imagine how lucky this makes us! No buyer’s remorse because we can use this yarn again. Add to that an opportunity to raise challenge and enter the flow channel at a higher level because we’ve learned something that raised our skill level. Nothing to regret no matter the outcome!

Is this New Year’s Optimism speaking? I think not. This is the nature of my world, a place I happily inhabit!

the two dumb questions

There are two questions, incomprehensible to knitters, that we are frequently asked.

• How much does it cost to make a sweater?
• How long did it take to knit that?

I’ve been asked this by strangers (to be expected) but also by knitters (even yarn company owners, which really astounded me). How in the world are these reasonable questions?

As I see it, there are three ways to respond.

Response number one

Open-mouthed astonishment: as if to say Did you really mean to ask such questions? Would you like to take that moment back?

It's a valid response, but no-one learns anything. So let's move on.

Response number two

Try to get to the root of these questions.

How much does it cost to make a sweater?

• How much does it cost to knit which sweater?
• Do you really want to know what I spent on yarn for this cashmere piece you are admiring?
• Do you want to know because you want to be shocked that anyone could be so impractical? Will it confirm what you’ve always suspected about me—my inane frivolousness?
• Or do you want to know because you want it to be within your budget, something you could now consider. (I’d love to believe this last.)

How long did it take to knit that?

• How many months, days, weeks, hours? How precise would you like me to be?
• What’s a day’s knitting? 2 hours, 6 hours, 10 hours? Do you think I knit with a stop watch beside me?
• Do you want to know because you want to be shocked that anyone could be so impractical? Will it confirm what you’ve always suspected about me—my inane frivolousness?
•  Or do you want to know because you want it to be within your time allowance, something you would now consider? (I’d love to believe this last.)

I usually do some of the above, but not well, and still no-one really learns anything. So lets move on.

Response number three

I’m reading a really interesting book—The Watchman’s Rattle—about how to solve complex problems. The author discusses the five barriers we need overcome to think clearly and to save civilization.

The fifth barrier is extreme economics—simple principles in business, such as risk/reward and profit/loss, that are the litmus test for determining the value of people and priorities, initiatives and institutions. Knitters fail the test of extreme economics when they spend money knitting something they could readily buy at a fraction of the price.

In addition, she says When business principles prevail, there is enormous pressure for individuals to respond to complex problems with great speed and efficiency. Knitters also fail this test of extreme economics when they spend hours knitting something they could readily buy in a fraction of the time.

Make no mistake. She is saying that to overcome complex problems and save civilization as we know it, we need to

• reject the need for profit,
• reject the need for speed.

So, what does that have to do with us?

Knitters are leaders in these exercises! The fact that we can’t answer how long and how much should be a proud moment for knitters! Why? Because, unlike the rest of the world, we will not be ruled by time or money. We do what we do because it is the right thing to do—for our minds, our health, our families, our economies (all of which are discussed in previous posts).

I would suggest that the best that humans produce—our good works, our good institutions, anything that has changed our quality of life for the better—can never be reduced to time or money.

And there’s our best answer!

gift knitting and repetitive strain relief

As we furiously head for this familiar deadline, we can get hurt! Don’t we all know that knitting can hurt???

I've been hurt knitting, I’ve been hurt playing the drums, I've been hurt opening a window—all of which made me unable to knit. (It's only when I cannot knit that I consider myself truly hurt. When I broke a leg--and had every excuse to just sit and knit—I wasn't hurtin' much.)

Here's what I have learned over a 50+ year of injuries.

• Avoid repetitive strain injuries by not doing a fine-motor activity for more than 20 minutes.
• Because 20 minutes can pass so very quickly (while knitting, while on the computer, probably not both at the same time but some of us are very talented!), set an egg timer for 20 minutes and across the room. When it rings, stop what you are doing!!! (Maybe an egg timer would be a good gift for a knitter?)
• Take a one-minute break. During that break, move and stretch.
• If you do have a repetitive strain injury, get help as soon as possible.

The best help I've received is ART (active release techniques) therapy. I regret that I can't say how I originally heard about ART, but I can say that it has saved me and others. You can go online to read about it and find a provider. (When I started, I think it was harder to find: seems to have become the preferred method for chiropractors now?) But here's what my experience has been.

I got tendonitis from playing the drums. This is normally a troublesome and chronic injury, but ART had me back on track within 10 days. However, what follows is a much better story and recommendation for ART.

Some time later I injured a rotator cuff opening a window.  I couldn't use my right arm to even turn on the radio in my car. My therapist said You are left-handed for a week. If I have to put your right arm into a sling, I will. (He probably thought I would stop knitting if he threatened me like that. Little did he know that I could knit in a sling!) And then he worked on me.

Typical ART involves the therapist doing deep tissue massage while twisting your body through that area. (You can read on the ART website for a better explanation of what's being done.) It can hurt a little during the process, but you feel immediate relief when it stops!

I did what I was told (not using my right arm and going for regular therapy with him) and, sure enough, within a week I was perfectly recovered. (Please remember that mine was not the chronic injury. I was incapacitated, to be sure, but the injury was probably not severe and certainly the same as someone who has struggled with this injury over time--like a baseball player.)

Many months later I was at a STITCHES event, at lunch with my friend Peggy, and I asked how she was doing. She told me she had been suffering with a rotater cuff injury. Imagine my shock when she said It was 6 weeks ago, and I've been lifting weights like my therpist says, but it's not working.

So I repeated my experience. She said she would look up ART, and she did. A year later she told me that even though it was an hour-and-a-half drive (she does live in the middle of nowhere), she was so grateful she had done so. It had cured her shoulder and helped her with other nagging injuries, and she couldn't recommend it more.

I told this story at a class in Michigan, and a woman—an athlete, in fact—said that ART had saved her from a chronic knee problem. My friend Susanna had the same knee problem, went to an ART therapist after hearing this, and we are now running 10K’s together!

We all know what can happen to us at this time of year. While you knit those gifts for everyone else, consider giving yourself the gift of a healing therapy!

a holiday gift for a knitter!

Some time ago a lovely yarn shop owner from a lovely shop (Joan Janes from Little Red Mitten in St Thomas ON) gave me the gift of a GLEENER--a sweater de-piller. (De-piller is probably not actually a work except to a knitter who knows precisely what is implied.) It took me a long time to need and use it . . . until today . . .

 . . . when I was up at 6am to prepare for my hosting of a craft and chat group. I wanted the sweaters that I wanted to show to look perfect--but they had pills that needed removing. And not just pills: a general fluffiness thing was happening that made a really new sweater look old, sad, and worn.

So, nothing to lose, let's try the GLEENER. My electric sweater shaver was okay, and I could use it as a fall back position if this little gadget didn't work. But the electric sweater shaver was only good for pills. Maybe this thing would work against that general fluffiness.

OMG!!!!! Amazing! My sweaters look new! Revitalized! Fabulous! I thought Every knitter needs one of these! And every knitter needs to give one of these to every knitter she knows!

But how to get one? And what did they cost?

So I googled GLEENER . . . and there it was . . . only $19.95!!! How can this be?!?! Something so wonderful for 20 bucks?!?

I also thought I remembered Joan saying that the product was Canadian. Would it be available in the US? Sure enough, there was an American flag on the buy now page.

Let me just continue to share my enthusiasm around the sheer genius of this thing! It has three blades (for 3 different fabrics). I found myself using the middle blade on my fluffy pilly merino sweater. And then it has a velvet lint brush that must be used to give the garment an as-new finish!

I cannot buy one for every knitter I know,  but I can get the word out. (I actually thought It would be wrong for me not to tell every knitter I know!) I do not know the owner/developer (nor have any affiliation whatsover with this company), but this is a wonderful thing and she has a wonderful story. I hope you will go to her website and check it out: www.gleener.com.

BTW, after reading her story, I scrolled to the bottom of the page to read about the name of the product. And OMG yet again! It was named after a painting that was my favourite when I was in university: Millet's The Gleaners. The beauty of these women bending to their task made me weep the first time I saw it.

I really am beyond excited to tell you about this product! Please give it a consideration if, like me, you buy and knit with lovely merino wool and then watch it become fluffy and pilly. (There's that word again. My spell check keeps underlining it. Just goes to show that spell check wasn't developed by a knitter!)

PS It isn't just me who thinks this is fabulous: go to about.com and read their 5 star review of the ultimate fuzz remover: http://housewares.about.com/od/sewinglaundry/fr/Gleener-Ultimate-Fuzz-Remover-Review.htm

why we deserve respect

Recent posts have discussed why we don’t get the respect we deserve. Everyone knows the stereotypes: I hope we can overcome them. But it bears asking why we deserve to be considered differently? Why do we deserve respect?

So, let’s put aside all the stuff we already know--

• the health benefits
• that it is an old an honourable activity
• that it clothes us and our families (and that the ability to knit with wool—with its properties of warmth retention—was considered essential in the fight against infant mortality)
• that a gift of knitting is of spectacular value—given the money we spend on yarn and the hours we spend in the making

--and look at this from another perspective.

How we spend our leisure time is recession-proof and could be seen as essential to economic recovery.

In tough times, people may give up the new car, the home reno, the new bedroom set. But they do not give up playing golf, reading books, going to movies, spending money on yarn. Nor should they!

On Feb 19, I wrote about research done on happiness—that people below a basic income level were less happy but that people above that basic level were no happier. In other words, once we are comfortable, more money does not make us happier. But then the recession of 2008 hit . . . which drove the researchers back into the field. And what they found was that—at first—people’s levels of happiness went down with their incomes . . . until some measure of recovery . . . and then people's levels of happiness went up . . . until, even though their incomes and job security were lower than before, they were happier than they had been before the recession hit.

The researchers assumed something they called the adaptation principle: when times are tough, we find out how resilient we are, we find out who we can count on, we find out what really matters. In other words, we find out what makes us happy.

And here’s what I think. What we do in our leisure time is what makes us happy! Obviously, at the top of the list is spending time with those we love. But when it comes to spending money, leisure dollars might be spent on a book, a movie, a golf trip, a new electronic gadget to manage family photos.None of these seem to have suffered since the recession.

Or we spend money on yarn! And consider that when we knitters spend money, it goes into small, locally-owned businesses! Isn’t that precisely what the experts say is essential to economic recovery?!?!

I consider it my duty to spend money in every yarn shop I visit! And what knitter can visit a yarn shop without doing the same? Knowing that we are 38,000 million strong, knowing how much it costs to make a sweater, go ahead and do the math to imagine the dollars we put into the economy!!!

So in addition to all the other wonderful things we wonderful knitters do, that’s why we deserve respect!